Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
