Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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