Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
