I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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