I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
