I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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