i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
