Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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