I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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