ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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