the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
