Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
