just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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