dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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