Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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