Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
