didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
