My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
