i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Randomize
