Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
