"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
