honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
