'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
