We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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