I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Randomize
