Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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