is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
