Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
