its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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