I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
