in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
This is my gift to your gina
Randomize
