VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
