whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
