I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
