I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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