Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
