Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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