My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
