i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
