You made me cry and you don't even care
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Randomize
