Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
is that a dick in a sweater?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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