So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
