No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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