yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
