So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Your cock deserves a montage
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
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