I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You are the jesus of drinking
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
