Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Who did Billy Mays play for?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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