Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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