Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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