I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
