Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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