dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
