I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
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