worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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