Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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